24 May 2018

How One University Party Changed My Life (Part 1)

At the start of the University year, in September last year, a student halls nearby to where I live threw a party and word spread which eventually meant that every University student in what felt like a 1000 mile radius- and their uncle- pitched up to the party. An innumerable crowd arrived at the halls which realistically could only comfortably manage about 50 people. Hence, it's no surprise that security shut the party down but not before rubbish dumpster jousting. Yes, that is exactly what it sounds like.

But, just incase you need some clarification: Picture several drunk (and possibly high) boys in a rubbish dumpster being pushed by drunken boys towards a group of other drunk (and again, possibly high) boys in another rubbish dumpster with brooms in hands, all for Snapchat, obviously. Are you getting the connection between them all? Drunkenness. Anyways, the bin jousting ended with the boys being reprimanded by security and the party-goers ultimately dispersing.
Anyways, at this party I met Brandon (not real name for all purposes of anonymity), who may or may not have been drunk, too. I can't remember. Brandon's taller than me by a long while and slender with dark, prickly facial hair. I imagine that if he shaved his beard off he'd look nothing like the 20-year-old that he is but more like a 12-year-old. Whilst walking through streets long abandoned by daylight with our drunken friends wobbling about around us, I found out he studies pharmaceutical science. One of his drunken friends was giving a piggy-back to another lean girl with long dark hair similar to mine- minus the random  curliness. But, beyond that observation, I never quite registered his friend that night. The party went on and people separated as as they were absorbed by the crowd of university students, despite his length, Brandon (and his friend) disappeared, too.

"When I finally spoke to Brandon, which happened to be moments before I left the party, I said: "Hey, Pharmaceutical Science!"

Imagine my surprise when I walked into a party a week or two later to see Brandon again. By now, I knew that we had several mutual friends, including my University flatmates, but I wouldn't have called him and I friends. His piggy-back-providing friend was with him at this party whom I briefly chatted to but again, nothing worth remembering. When I finally spoke to Brandon, which happened to be moments before I left the party, I said: "Hey, Pharmaceutical Science!" as if that were his name. He caught on rather quickly and responded with "Hey, Journalism." And with that, I left.

Halloween rolled around and I'd been invited by a virtual stranger to dress-up and celebrate at her house. I usually wouldn't go to the house of a person whom I'd only met once in my life, and briefly enough not to waltz into their home, but University life was changing me. I got my sister to create a scar across my cheek, which in retrospect looked a lot like a labia. A lot. I dragged my friend who was more-appropriately dressed as a fairy to this house party with me. I like to think that we walked in fashionably late but really we got lost. Anyways, we walked in to find four nurses; these weren't just ordinary nurses though- four boys of various muscular 'buffness' had dressed in whichever female's in their lives could bare to have their clothes stretched by these scantily clad men. At first I noticed only three of the nurses, but eventually recognised Brandon who had also put a balloon 'you-know-where' to cover his 'you-know-what'. I could only imagine the poor girl whose body was obviously much, much smaller than his."Hi, Pharmaceutical Science" I greeted him. "Hey, Journalism" he responded.

"That was Julian."

You may be surprised to hear that although this story is about Brandon, you're already very familiar with one of the nurses. Remember the piggy-back-ride-provider friend of his who seemed to be his plus one to all the events I saw him at? That was Julian from this post. But, this isn't about him. It's about Brandon.

That's important to know for the part that comes next.

Ladies and gentleman...on that rather unassuming night, those nurses and quite aptly a scar-faced Steph began what has since become an adventure.


Till next time-


  1. Ooo I'm intrigued as to what comes next! As soon as you mentioned one of his drunken friends I knew who you were talking about!

  2. I have no idea where this is going but I'm now intrigued to find out more ^^

    Sophie | www.sophiesspot.co.uk


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