10 October 2017

19 Things I Haven't Learnt At 19

As of this moment in time, I am officially 19 years old. We recently celebrated another birthday on this blog, but last Thursday, it was mine. I remember getting really excited nine years ago when I became 10 because I was finally 'double digits'. Seven-years-ago, when I was 12, I stopped celebrating my halves, like '12-and-a-half'. I miss those days. Maybe in six months time, I'll do a post about being '19-and-a-half' but for now, for today I'm just 19.
 I'm not sure what it is about completing another of life's cycles but somehow it always calls for reflection. In my 19 years there has been a lot that I have done, and more that I haven't done.

I've learnt many lessons and forgotten many things;
I've learnt how to use a spoon, I've learnt to tie my hair into a pony-tail and swirl it into a sometimes-delicate and sometimes-not-so-delicate bun. I've learnt how to apply lip-gloss and lipsticks and how to crawl through mud and glide through the water. I've learnt how to ride a bicycle and drive a car.
I've learnt how to love and how to mend my broken heart. I've learnt how to lose and I've learnt how to win.

Whilst writing the list below, I've come to see how bloody difficult it is to write a list of things I haven't learnt. It's much easier to make a list about things I've learnt- trust me. I have no doubt I'll get to 50 years old, look back at this post and laugh and my naivety for thinking that I've learnt all that the world has to teach me. I guess I just don't know what I don't know and what I'm yet to learn.
I'm 19 years down, but I like to think that I have many more years to go; So, with that in mind, I'm going to tell you what 19 years of life hasn't taught me, in hopes that the rest of the years that follow will make up for it. 

1. How to cook a proper meal. The student life that I'm currently living has meant that I've seriously upped my cooking game- but not so seriously that I can cook a non-student type meal.

2. To make ammends with the past. I think I have a long way to go with not regretting things in my past. When I say this, I'm not talking about anything serious, just the little things that my mind tends to drift back to at 11 PM on a Monday night when I can't bring myself to sleep.

3. How to talk to good-looking guys. I get major anxiety when talking to good-looking boys. I have no problem talking to boys, but as soon as I relize I'm attracted to them, it's a different story.

4. How to stay up past 3 AM. I haven't mastered this one; I'm doubting whether I've ever stayed up past 03:30. I've definitely been up at 4AM, but that hasn't been continuously through the night. I should try and change that.

5. To be more open-minded about music genres. I know what music I like and I tend to stick to it- stick firmly to it. I like pop music and country  music. I appreciate other art forms, but I stick to what I like in this regard.

6. To dance like no one is watching. Every time I dance (which isn't as often as you may be imagining) I'm self-conscious.

7. To have the confidence to answer questions in class. I would have very little problem with standing in front of my class and giving a speech, but for the life of me I get too scared and filled with anxiety when answering a question in class.

8. To make the perfect cup of tea.  I once wrote this post, but I don't think I've quite perfected it yet.

9. To be very exprienced with boys. As we've established about me, I have very little experience with the opposite gender. I haven't even hit a base...unless you count hand-holding as half a base?

10. How to say no to chocolate and cake (and chocolate cake). I don't think I'm alone when it comes to this one; I can't say no to cake or chocolate, not that I'm complaining. This is one thing I think I'm okay with never learning.

11. To like Snapchat and Instagram. I really did try with Instagram -I promise. We just don't click. I think I had Snapchat for a full week before I went 'off with its head'.

12. How not to be a twin. Now and again someone will ask me whether I like being a twin. I don't really know a life any different...and I don't think I'd want to either!

13. Be comfortable in a club. It's probably due to the lack of alcohol in my system...but I'm just not comfortable in  club environement. Some people take like a duck to water in clubs...I take like a young bird- I don't.

14. To be attached to my phone. I'm very happy to say that this millenial has no problem separating from her phone- no problem at all.

15. To challenge myself. Generally, I like to stay in my comfort zone. I don't like to do things that scare me although this is something that I'd like to work on over the next 19 years.

16. To watch anything other than rom-coms. I don't wander out of the rom-com genre hardly ever. This aligns well with the above point of challenging myself.

17. To be okay with being late. I get the worst anxiety if I know I'm even 1 minute late to a class. I just can't be late, it isn't in me. However,sometimes things go wrong and time is just against you. In those cases, I'd like to have less anxiety and just be more at ease about it.

18. To take good photographs. This is something that I'm increasingly working on and have noted as a place where I have the potential to improve. The photographs on this blog, even up until the start of the year are of poor quality compared to the photographs that I put up on the blog now. I still have a way to go, and wouldn't consider myself 'good' but I held my first DSLR camera last week, so I'm trying.

19. How to make my bed properly. Don't get me wrong, I know that there's an undersheet, then a sheet, then a duvet inside a duvet case, and possible a throw or a blanket, it's just that every time I make my bed, it comes out looking like someone just slept in it- which doesn't exactly match the image I have in my head of what a freshly made bed should look like.

What have you not learnt by your age?

Till next time-



  1. I'm not okay with being late!! Happy Birthday Steph!!

    Effortlessly Sophisticated

    1. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
      Thanks Jennifer!

  2. I had NO idea you were a twin! I definitely had no idea how to cook non-student meals when I was nineteen and now four years on cooking is one of my main passions, so it's definitely not too late.

    Steph - www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

    1. Surprise! I am indeed another half.
      Wow! That's really motivating! I definitely think that my cooking has improved since I started cooking for myself just over a month ago.

      Thanks Steph!

  3. happy birthday! this is such a creative post idea, it was a joy to read <3

    1. That means a lot to me, Jolly!

      Thank you! I try to do things a bit differently over here... sometimes.

  4. 'How to talk to good-looking guys' This made me giggle, though honestly I'm still in the same boat, as well as not making it to any base ^_^. And how do people stay up past 3pm, I'm in the land of dream by midnight but that's pushing it. I really did enjoy reading this post, made me giggle as well as realising I've still got a lot to learn that I hadn't even thought about xx

    Sophie's Spot

    1. Hahah, I freak out completely! I get shy and tense up. It's something I'm working on though.
      Midnight is definitely way past my curfew!

      Even since writing this post I've realised that I have so much to learn. I think that's exciting though! We can learn together!

  5. I love this post. I love that you wrote about the things you don't know instead of the things you do know. I am currently working on #1 (slowly improving with a few meals up my sleeves) and I also want to improve on #2 & #18.

    What I don't know... I don't know how to fix anything in my car. When I think about how people own cars that cost thousands of dollars, but then no one knows how to fix them if they break -- I don't know, it always blows my mind. But at the same time I don't really have an interest in cars, like at all, so I'll probably just keep taking it to a mechanic when it breaks down. :)



    1. I thought that writing about the things that I didn't know was a more unique angle.
      At least you're working on them! That's all we can ask for.

      Haha, if cars were something that you were interested, I'd tell you to maybe try learn, but if it isn't then a mechanic is always a good call.

      Thanks Bobbi!

  6. Are we the same person? OK, there are just a few things I wouldn't choose, but the majority of these work for me too. I'm 22 and I struggle with most of these every single day. Especially at social life, clubbing, dancing...guys. I hope for a better tomorrow though haha
    awesome post and idea :D

    xo Honey - blog Royal Lifestyle - Twitter - Instagram

    1. All we can do is hope for a better tomorrow and self-improvement!
      Thanks so much Honey!

  7. I hope you had a fab birthday! I'm a twin too, although her and I haven't always been so close, it's so weird when people ask questions because it's nothing special to me, it's all I've known
    -Cait xx

    1. I had a lovely birthday! Thanks.
      I understand what you mean, Cait. I get those questions too and I don't really have an answer to it.

      I love being a twin though. The fact that we're close adds something special to it too.

  8. Hi

    Happy 19th Birthday!

    I am 23 and I think life is better now for me than it was when I was younger. Coming from a strict family, I certainly get a bit more freedom now - but I've got to say this. Use your young years to explore and challenge yourself and put yourself out there. I am EXTREMELY shy person, sorta an introvert, but I have developed quite a bit over the years. I am still quieter and shyer than most people - but I am definitely more confident.

    When I say put yourself out there, I don't mean forcing your self to go to clubs if you don't like them, I mean rather to get yourself go to other places. I don't like clubbing, I prefer quiet but trendy bars where I can sit and drink and chat with my mates whilst music is playing in the background that no one is making you dance to.

    Not being experienced with boys at aged 19 is good - it gives you an opportunity to explore this in your twenties - if you have life figured out by 18, then anything after that will be boring and dull and you will have nothing new to explore. I'm glad I wasn't romantically or sexually experienced at 18 (although I did have a bf for a short while but I can barely remember him - eek!). My first proper love was at 22. And he gave me the confidence that I have now in hand to approach men, instead of waiting for them to come to me. (we are not together for complicated reasons, but I will never forget him and this thought makes me smile).

    Due to my strict family and culture, I tend to hold back on going out with guys or going out with friends too much. But I find ways around it - because I want to explore and make myself happy, educate myself in life and love, and just be true to myself as best as I can.

    You have some other interesting projects up there as well - photography, cooking, bed-making (:p), music etc... Just think about it this way - you have ALL OF IT to look forward to as the years go by.

    Don't be afraid of making the first step. But don't force yourself to be something you're not for the sake of others (or peer pressure).

    If you want to talk more, I'd love to!

    1. It's amazing that you've done the self-reflecting and you've noticed how you've changed as time has gone on. It sounds like you've grown so positively into a more confident person.

      You've given some key advice here! It's so exciting that I still have so much more to learn and look forward to, as you said.

      Sometimes it's so difficult to balance putting myself out there but not forcing myself to do things that I don't think I want to do.

      Thank you for opening up to me and sharing bits about your family and culture etc.
      You sound like an incredible person!

  9. Happy Birthday!!
    I'm also 19 and yep, haven't learnt so many of these. I think making amends with the past is such a good one. When will we learn to stop lying awake cringing about something we once said/did!?

    1. Hahah, I'm still working on the not lying awake and pondering everything I've ever said. Turn out I may spend a life time figuring out how to stop that...Oh well! At least I have that to look forward to.

  10. Recently I learned that at 20 I still don't know how to pay my hydro bill properly, I also don't know how to pay my taxes (Thanks Mum!) �� I'm with you on number 17 as well! Even when I try to be late I show up early! I like to think that it just means I value both my time and other highly though! (but I could do without the anxiety and stress ahah).

    1. You're right! It does mean that we value our own time and whomever we're meeting with or seeing, but sometimes the anxiety it causes really isn't worth it. I'm on my way to 20 and although I still have anxiety when it comes to punctuality, I think I've gotten better.

  11. This is an awesome post! I've definitely not learnt How to stand my ground and not let other peoples opinions effect me. Shall be working on that one:)

    1. At least it gives you something to look forward to and to work on. We're only human.

  12. I just want to say that I'm 24 and I have still not learned how to cook a proper meal so you aren't alone there. I have not learned how to do my taxes and I hear that's kind of important but it really scares me to death.

    1. Haha, I've also heard that it's rather important- that last bit. But, I think we'll just have to cross the bridge when we get there and figure it out then. Imagine how rewarding it'll be when you get it done all by yourself and correctly!


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