Moving to the UK: The Emotional Side

I don't have dreams often. Hardly ever really. Now and again though I wake up knowing I just experienced a fantastically odd adventure in my head. 10 minutes later though, I usually don't remember any of it. A few nights ago, that statement would not have been true. It was a nightmare that I still remember- almost one week on and almost 100%.

As I mentioned in this post here, I'm moving to the UK. My move to the UK has always felt like it was a life time away. It has just dawned on me that it's next month. NEXT MONTH. I started my year in South Africa, spent the middle of 2017 in Greece, and I'm ending it in London. If anyone asks me whether I'm excited for the 'big move', I usually give a very confident 'YES' because I am excited, however, my nightmare from last week got me thinking that maybe I'm feeling more than just excited...

I woke up with chest pains. I never wake up with chest pains. My heart was pounding and I could feel  my body was hotter than usual- more so than the usual heat that takes over my room due to the Mediterranean sun greeting me through my balcony window. This was a different kind of hot; I found myself somewhere in the London underground- I can't tell you where because I have no idea, but I'm sure about one thing; I couldn't get out! I kept trying to get onto the correct train, but every train took me further and further away from my house (and in the opposite direction). After feeling hopelessly lost, I decided to plonk myself in the middle of an unknown station's floor and nap (because that's what any sane person would do in this situation, right?). My nap was cut short after I was awaken by a tap on the forehead. As I jolted out of sleep with my upper body asserting itself almost involuntarily  into a 90 degree position from my lower limbs, my satchel was taken off my back. My satchel holding my life's content inside- iPad, laptop,money, ID and student card were stolen.

Do I chase after the guy? We'll never know because I woke up.

Deduce what you will from my dream, but I think I have more than just excitement welling up inside of me. It looks like there's some fear and anxiety too.

I'm scared. I'm really scared. From September, I'm going to be experiencing a lot of 'first times' and there will be a lot of 'newness' in my life. New is scary and old is comfortable.

Luckily, I seek refuge in my blog. So, if you'll bare with me, this space is going to become deeply personal with posts littered with my irrational fears and more-than-probable moving anxieties. I'm happy that I have you. I imagine you cheering me on from your corner of the world. I feel less alone knowing you're coming with me to London (and in my mind holding pom-poms and waving your hands crazily in support).

When have you been most afraid to do something in your life? How did it turn out?

Till next time-
Steph

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