I don't have dreams often. Hardly ever really. Now and again though I wake up knowing I just experienced a fantastically odd adventure in my head. 10 minutes later though, I usually don't remember any of it. A few nights ago, that statement would not have been true. It was a nightmare that I still remember- almost one week on and almost 100%.
As I mentioned in this post here, I'm moving to the UK. My move to the UK has always felt like it was a life time away. It has just dawned on me that it's next month. NEXT MONTH. I started my year in South Africa, spent the middle of 2017 in Greece, and I'm ending it in London. If anyone asks me whether I'm excited for the 'big move', I usually give a very confident 'YES' because I am excited, however, my nightmare from last week got me thinking that maybe I'm feeling more than just excited...
I woke up with chest pains. I never wake up with chest pains. My heart was pounding and I could feel my body was hotter than usual- more so than the usual heat that takes over my room due to the Mediterranean sun greeting me through my balcony window. This was a different kind of hot; I found myself somewhere in the London underground- I can't tell you where because I have no idea, but I'm sure about one thing; I couldn't get out! I kept trying to get onto the correct train, but every train took me further and further away from my house (and in the opposite direction). After feeling hopelessly lost, I decided to plonk myself in the middle of an unknown station's floor and nap (because that's what any sane person would do in this situation, right?). My nap was cut short after I was awaken by a tap on the forehead. As I jolted out of sleep with my upper body asserting itself almost involuntarily into a 90 degree position from my lower limbs, my satchel was taken off my back. My satchel holding my life's content inside- iPad, laptop,money, ID and student card were stolen.
Do I chase after the guy? We'll never know because I woke up.
Deduce what you will from my dream, but I think I have more than just excitement welling up inside of me. It looks like there's some fear and anxiety too.
I'm scared. I'm really scared. From September, I'm going to be experiencing a lot of 'first times' and there will be a lot of 'newness' in my life. New is scary and old is comfortable.
Luckily, I seek refuge in my blog. So, if you'll bare with me, this space is going to become deeply personal with posts littered with my irrational fears and more-than-probable moving anxieties. I'm happy that I have you. I imagine you cheering me on from your corner of the world. I feel less alone knowing you're coming with me to London (and in my mind holding pom-poms and waving your hands crazily in support).
When have you been most afraid to do something in your life? How did it turn out?
Till next time-
Steph
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It's perfectly okay to feel not only excited but anxious and a bit scared. It's a big step in your life and it's normal that you feel this way :) That nightmare sounds awful but I'm sure that you'll be okay once you'll move to London. Don't let your fears ruin your excitement :)
ReplyDelete-Leta | The Nerdy Me
It is normal. Thank you for the encouragement, Leta!
DeleteI think that is something that I've got to work on; I can't let fear over rule the excitement! Good advice!
It's a normal feeling before starting something new I think !
ReplyDeletehttps://afrenchgirlsthoughts.blogspot.fr
You're completely right!
DeleteI think it would be abnormal not to be scared (even just a bit).
I think moving to a new place will always bring new fears, especially if the place in unknown. All though dreams can seem very realistic and vivid, I'm sure that you'll soon be surrounded by lovely people who will guide you through your UK adventure. Of course, you always have us S! xx N
ReplyDeleteBLOG//Jasmine Loves
I hope I get to meet lovely people. I have no doubt that I will- which is exciting!
DeleteI know that I'll always have you all too!
Thank you, N!
I really appreciate you!
Being scared of such a big change like that is normal. I hope when you actually move it will be super cool. Awesome post!
ReplyDeleteNabila // Hot Town Cool Girl
Thanks Nabila!
DeleteI hope so too! Haha.
I'm sure there'll be some bumps and bruises along the way...but nothing I can't handle.
Good luck on the move. I know it can be scary!
ReplyDeleteJennifer
Effortlessly Sophisticated
It's scary, but i've got you guys!
DeleteThanks Jennifer!
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Thanks!
DeleteIt's understandable to feel a bit unsteady about a big move, but I live in the UK and I don't mind it. I mean, it'd be so much better to live somewhere warm and sunny, but as a whole, it's pretty nice and I'm sure you'll love it. If not, I'm sure you'll have a good few stories to tell!
ReplyDeleteAmy;
Little Moon Elephant
The nice thing about the UK though is that it's so close to other sunnier places. So, if you have the opportunity, sunshine is only a few hours away (albeit still a lot further than other people have to go to find sun).
DeleteI'm sure I'll have a boat-load of stories to tell! So, stay tuned for those!
Thank you, Amy!
I can't even imagine how scary it must be to move to a new country, and it's totally normal to feel anxious about it! I hope this blog becomes a good refuge for all your concerns and helps you in your journey to the UK!
ReplyDeleteSteph - www.nourishmeblog.co.uk
This blog already is a refuge for me, and my hope is that it continues that way.
DeleteThank you, Steph!
I think you'd be crazy not to be scared, but you've got this!
ReplyDeleteClare - http://notaccountingforlooks.com
Thank you Clare!
DeleteThat made me chuckle. We got this!
Being afraid of first times and all,luckily you have a blog with plenty of followers to fall back onto�� Sorry for the late comment, only found a bunch of missed posts on my Bloglovin today�� I live in the Uk and all I'll say is hopefully,with all the anxious thoughts and nightmares, you'll have bounds of fun.��
ReplyDelete#sweetreats xx www.bakingboutiquebirds.blogspot.co.uk/
I'm sure once I get settled in I'll be having fun and be more at ease.
DeleteI'm very lucky to have you all as friends.
Thanks ST!
I would be so terrified to move to a completely new location the way you are! Of course it's going to be an incredible adventure, but there's still so much unknown. BUT, it's going to be amazing and you're going to grow so much!
ReplyDeleteWe recently decided to take the leap of going down to one income so that Ben could quite his corporate job and work on his passion. It was pretty scary, but it's been AMAZING. We wouldn't change it for anything!
Susie | http://milehighdreamers.com
I look forward to growing. I think that's going to be really evident when I move and as I settle in.
DeleteLeap of faiths really do pay off. i admire you guys for taking the leap! I'm so glad it worked out so well for you, Susie!
The UK will definitely be an adventure- as it should be!
I would feel the same if I were on your place! It must be scary to be so far from home!
ReplyDeleteBut you must think that you won't have any problem with your language, the studies would be interesting, the city is big and full of places to discover and you will met a lot of new people.
And if the things doesn't go well, you can always come back home, and this will be an experience to learn ^^
The last time I had big fear (without mentioning my anxiety attacks) was the day of the final course school trip when I was 16 (I've turned them that day!) because was the first time I caught a plane, and also we went to Menorca island with my school class and I hadn't friends, that day I was shivering and about to throw up... anyways, it was a cool trip!
It's very far from home, indeed. But, it'll just become another place to call home (eventually, I hope).
DeleteAs you mentioned, luckily language won't be an issue (thank goodness)!
oh goodness! That doesn't sound fun but I have no doubt that you developed and grew from the experience! It sounds like you ended up enjoying yourself in the end, though!
Thanks for sharing, C!
This was such a well written post! I hope you do really well with moving and settling in!
ReplyDeleteStella xx
https://onegirlblogger.blogspot.com/
Thank you so much, Stella!
DeleteI will keep you updated every step of the way!