4 July 2017

Blogger's Confession: Opening Up To You

Its been a while.
Well, I mean...I haven't posted since Tuesday last week which may seems like nothing to you but its felt like a lifetime for me. I had so many posts planned for the end of June but I wouldn't put them up. Notice my wording? I could've. But, I chose not to.
For the past few months I have eaten, breathed and only thought of blogging- or that's what its felt like anyways; Every morning, I wake up and schedule tweets, I check on my statistics, I engage online and do all the things that 'bloggers' are expected to do. And, let me tell you now, it's hard. The hard work and focus has definitely paid off- and that has been incredible. But, its still been so incredibly difficult.

At first, I loved every waking minute of my blogging-filled day. I'm not kidding, I do mean EVERY SINGLE MINUTE. But, eventually it started to feel a bit more like work than fun. I've read a lot of other blogs, so I know that this is something that all bloggers seem to feel at some point. I always thought t would happen to me later than it did.

People say that the things that we have to work the hardest for are often the most rewarding, and I've seen that. Every new comment, follower, email or virtual 'pat on the back' makes all the effort worth while.
But then... My Blog Got Stolen. To most people that would be flattering, to others it would be infuriating. I had a uneasy balance of both emotions. It was so incredibly difficult to see my hard work under another person's name- someone else getting the page views and recognition for my work. My passion for blogging, writing and this community allowed me to push through and keep blogging until I got my wits about me and filed a legal notice of infringement called a DMCA (fancy stuff, I know).  After a bit of waiting, my DMCA notice was approved, and the site was removed.

I really, really needed a break from the blogging world. My technologically-glued eyes and my blogging brain needed a time-out I saw the perfect opportunity when I visited Crete, the biggest island in Greece. I hardly tweeted, didn't post on Instagram and thought about blogging less (blogging wasn't exactly completely out of mind, but I love it so that that was to be expected).

I had an incredible time and I planned to tell you all about it. It was a short stint of a holiday within a holiday but a much welcomed one; I was ready to take on the blogging world with sparkling eyes and a more tanned bushy tail.

Again, my plans went South; The 'copy cat' blog is back! That is the last thing I thought I'd see after the loveliest break away. My eyes have dimmed a little and although my tail's still tanned, its gone a bit frizzy.
With an open heart and all my honesty on the table: I went away for the shortest time. My page views dropped exponentially, which hurt. I still have to be beside my blog, hands on keyboard, in every moment or I don't get the views. I sort of hoped that it could have done better walking alone for a bit by this stage.

At some point, whilst eating feta cheese and dipping crisp village bread into olive oil, I also realised that I don't like travel posts, but I'd still like to share my holiday with you all. I've decided to find a better, more creative and less conventional way to post about my time in Greece.

These have been semi-scattered thoughts, but all honest ones.

Right now, I just feel human. I'm confused and tired but simultaneously so impassioned to fight on.

So, I'm here and I'm listening. I think I've decided to stuff blog schedules where the sun don't shine (if you know what I mean). I found that putting up a post every 2 days created a string of words that I wasn't always proud to put out, but felt like I had to.

Reading this over has also made me realise how all the pressure I've felt has largely come straight from me- no one else's expectations but my own.

Who knows when I'll next post? It could be tomorrow, it could be in 2 days or in one week! I guess we'll soon find out!

COMMENT: Is there ANYTHING you'd like to rant to me about? My ears are wide open! 
Till next time-
Steph

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14 comments

  1. Fantastic post!!!!
    Nicoletta
    http://lavieestbellebynicoletta.altervista.org/

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thank you, Nicoletta!

      I appreciate you taking the tie to read and comment!

      Delete
  2. STEPH!! This was so raw and personal and emotional and heart-felt, and I loved it. Yes I realize that I used a lot of ands there. I think talking about it helps a lot and hopefully everything gets better. xx Nikita

    BLOG//Jasmine Loves

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    1. THANK YOU N!
      I have no problem with the continuous use of 'and'!

      I feel like things have improved already!

      Thank you for your constant love and support!

      Delete
  3. This was amazing steph. I have noticed how much your blog has grown recently and it has been amazing. Even though I am a lot younger than you I can relate to some of these things. Hard work will usually pay off in the end but when you start to feel overwhelmed taking a break is always smart.

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    1. That means incredible amounts to me, Nabila!
      I'm feeling SO much better about my blog! My little hap-hazard blogging ways have helped!

      Delete
  4. This was such heartfelt post, and I love it so much! Like Nabila said, when you start to feel overwhelmed, taking a break is smart. I hope everything feels better soon!

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    1. Thanks JG!

      I do feel so much better!
      I'm glad you liked the post!

      Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment!

      Delete
  5. I'm so sorry to hear that someone has copied your blog! I don't know why anyone would ever want to do that. I find that blogging schedules can get so tiresome, so it's often a good idea to be more relaxed about it x

    LuxeStyle

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    1. i agree with you! A more relaxed approach is definitely the way to go!

      Thanks Jenny!

      Delete
  6. Hmm I'm sorry to hear that it is stolen again Steph. ~ Ugghh people please you're making someone upset.. But, you know it's okay to take a break for a while and think things over. But always remember Steph, you and your blog is amazing. Your passion in blogging is incredible. I am in no doubt that you'll get through the challenges you're facing right now :)

    Homed: Life in Sugar & Spice

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    1. I LOVE THIS COMMENT!

      Thank you for your love and support, fi! It's SO SO appreciated!
      Challenges only make us stronger!

      Delete
  7. Funnily enough, I experienced a similar feeling over on my blog which I had expressed in words upon my social media accounts as I felt I had been inactive on those as well. During my long break ONLINE, blogging had always been at the back of my mind of something I should do but whenever I had the opportunity I just...don't know. I didn't take it,I guess. It's reassuring to see other bloggers possibly go through this phase as well.

    #sweetreats xx www.bakingboutiquebirds.blogspot.co.uk/

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    1. You're definitely not alone! It can be a really good break though!

      Thanks ST!

      Delete

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