16 March 2017

Being Alone

Past Day Steph

I don't do much alone. On the odd occasion that I eat breakfast, it's with my mom. Lunch is probably with my dad and dinner is a feast with the whole family. I'm still a 'learner' driver, which requires a licensed passenger beside me in the car, so even when I'm driving I'm not alone. I wasn't even in the womb alone. Somehow, I still came out a some-what independent person, however, in saying that, companionship (in fur or flesh) is definitely preferable.
Today, I took a big step. Or, I took many little steps which culminated in one massive step which ended with me in central London. You guessed it- alone.

 I'm currently staying in a shoe-box. I'm used to open space, large gardens and a good distance between myself and my neighbour in the Northern, Eastern, Southern and Western boundaries which I acknowledge is a privilege enjoyed by few. The student accommodation which my sister has kindly made to be 'home' is by all means livable yet simultaneously discombobulating. A trip to her university workshop (and the fumbling of a pressure pump) resulted in an over-blown mattress which I have the privilege of calling my bed...or 'slippy slide' for the next two weeks. Its taken some getting used to; sharing a toilet with 3 people is one thing...sharing a toilet with 8 others with varying needs and preferences when it comes to hygiene (or lack thereof) is another. I am very grateful to have a roof over my head and food on the table with several running taps- things again afforded to few- however, I still feel out of place.

Crumbled up, snotty remnants of what was once crease-less tissues litter the little space between my right shoulder and the off-white wall beside me. University has begun for the day,which once again leaves me alone to enjoy and find comfort in my own company, accompanied by the odd chirp or melody of surrounding birds. The Thames, slowly meandering through a small tribune gently hums and accompanies the birds in low toned melodious harmony, whilst I sniffle and harshly cough, disrupting the pin-drop silence which does nothing but remind me of my loneliness.

Present Day Steph

Once again, I'm alone. Comforted and accompanied by the 'clicks' my fingers make when meeting with the letters beneath them. Looking back on the last three weeks, I am fulfilled and content. I like to stay within my perimeters, and now and again dip my big toe into the unknown- but I don't go beyond that. On my recent trip to London, I dunked my whole leg into the unknown and dived in head-first straight after. I took trains and buses alone. I passed airport security and boarding, a new feat to conquer as a 'one man wobbling band' at Heathrow and again in Frankfurt, all on my lonesome.

 I meandered through a whole city, tremulous and terrified at times and lazily ambling along at others but I made it. I'm now back in the comfort of my room snuggled up with Kitty, my trusty ginger companion. I am now left to reflect with unbounded pride at all I accomplished. Alone.

Till next time-
Steph

                                                                             -----

You can find me here:

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Travelling can be a scary ordeal. Travelling alone can be even worse, when you're not only carrying your luggage but anxiety too. Have you ever traveled alone? If so, would you do it again and if not, would you want to try it? I'm now just starting to unpack my bags, which means metaphorically unpacking and 'letting go' of my anxiety too! What a weight off my shoulders.

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32 comments

  1. travelling alone can be scary. but sometimes its so freeing. I love exploring downtown on my own sometimes. it helps to clear my head.

    beautiful post <3

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Faith!! It's always lovely when I see your name pop up!

      It can be freeing! I can understand how being alone helps you clear your head.

      Thank you <3

      Delete
  2. nice post!
    i love the idea of travelling alone and i really wanna try sometime. but, i can't because i'm only 15...seems really fun though :D

    ~Ritz
    http://theritzblog.blogspot.in/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ritz, I promise, the day will come (very soon) where you'll be older and have the world at your finger tips.

      Delete
  3. I love travelling but I hate being alone for too long! Being alone isn't too bad but company is always much better! xx

    - Eternalleigh.blogspot.com

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    1. Leigh! Thanks for the comment and stopping by!

      Agreed! Being alone for just the right amount of time is great- anything longer becomes too lonely!

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. Thanks for stopping by, Hailey!

      Delete
  5. The thought of travelling alone kinda scares me. I'm studying to be a doctor and I want to give the USMLE and study in the US and that means traveling alone a lot. I'm apprehensive of it mostly because I am quite visibly and obviously a Muslim xD and I already have anxiety that makes me feel like the whole world is out to get to me so having US customs singling me out = nightmare. Like even though I'm a citizen, they still single at least one person from my family out when we travel together. It's never been me, but my chance goes up 100% if I'm the only one there :(

    the-emo-wolverine-writes.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It angers me that after all the world and its citizens have been through, there is still so much hate and discrimination against race, religion and culture.

      Sorry K. Although being singled out is definitely nerve-wrecking, try not to let it top you from chasing your dreams!

      Delete
  6. Travelling alone is very scary, especially to London of all places! I love the way you write, lovely post!

    Lauren x Huggled

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for taking the time to read the post and leave a comment, Lauren!

      That means a lot to me.

      Delete
  7. Nice post! I have nominated you for the 'One lovely blog' tag, Info on my blog!
    x TargetGirl
    targetgirlonline.blogspot.nz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank so much for the comment, TG!

      Delete
  8. Travelling alone is scary but you get such an sense of accomplishment having planned the journey, got there and back and done all the things you wanted too. Enjoy the solo adventure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's very very true!

      It's such a relief to get back home an look back on the adventure!

      Delete
  9. Travelling alone is very scary, especially to London of all places! I love the way you write, lovely post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Steph!
      It was a learning experience that i'm very grateful for!

      Delete
  10. Being alone is a feeling which is just too saddening. But when you're online, some bad people could take advantage of your situation. On my children's phones, I've got the http://www.toptrackingapps.com/best-facebook-spy/ to ensure that they're always safe.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Being alone can be a great thing as long as it isn't for too long!
    Hope you enjoy Central London...
    Maybe do a post about all of the places you have ever called home?
    anaeldaydreamer.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVE that idea, Anael!
      I was actually thinking about this exact topic just the other day.
      Don't be surprised if you see a similar post pop up on here, soon!

      Being alone can be amazing! It's important!

      Delete
    2. I kinda value my personal space so surely, travelling alone is an option for me. And yea, with a camera to keep me company no matter how long. Nice writing there, appreciated.

      Delete
    3. Travelling alone is definitely a good option- especially if you like your own company!
      A camera makes a great travel buddy too. I'm sure you'll meet some lovely humans along the way!

      Thanks Dalene!

      Delete
  12. awh this was such a lovely post , it's almost like i can feel your emotions penetrate through the keys of your keyboard into my own . this is truly inspiring to me <3 i still have yet to see the outside world & wonder off on my own . thank you so much for sharing this Xx - Fancy

    mymanyfancies.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is honestly one of the kindest most thoughtful comments I have ever received!

      I really hope you get the opportunity to set foot into the outside world and wonder through many of it's crooks and crannies!

      Delete
  13. I've never really travelled alone that was outside of my suburban hometown. Even going to the store alone freaks me out because I'm usually with my mom. Most days, I'm alone in our apartment while she's at work. When I go to work and she can't drive me to work, I take a Lyft there alone. That doesn't freak me out as much because I'm in the car with another person. But if anything should happen, that's something that makes me nervous. And especially since my mom isn't getting any younger, it makes me feel like I want to be with her all the time. It's just tough, you know? :/ :(

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thanks for opening up to me, Dani!
      It can be tough; It's also added pressure knowing that a person that you're so close to and love so much is getting older.

      Maybe the solution is to try and do small things, a few times a week, alone. You should start with something comfortable and stretch yourself out further and further till you feel safer and more independent!

      Best of luck Dani!
      I think you're braver than you think! Trust yourself.

      Delete
  14. Being alone is scary. But it makes you stronger. Stay strong! www.rileyedixon | Riley xo.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. It definitely makes you stronger,but as Kelly Clarkson said "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'.

      Thanks Riley!

      Delete
  15. I am actually so glad I came across this, you're such a talented writer! I bet travelling alone is so scary but definitely a huge accomplishment! Can't wait to read more!
    Kate | beautifulmessedupminds.com

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for your kind words!
      It's scary...but definitely a growing experience!

      Thanks for the comment! I hope you'll pop round again to read more!

      Delete

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