24 March 2017

8 Full-Proof Ways to Get Over Any Guy



 Let me tell you my track record when it comes to love. My heart has been broken once and I've done the heartbreaking, once. Hence, by analysis of my age and experience, I am no where near qualified to give advice on romance- not one bit qualified. But I'm going to do it anyways.

That one time that my heart was minced into a million pieces, was enough heart break to last me a life time. On account for that single heartbreak, I'm writing this. If I consider that, then maybe I am qualified; I'll leave you to be the judge on that.


#1 BLOCK HIS NUMBER




 Sometimes, it's worse knowing that he can call and text you...but has chosen not to. The blocking doesn't have to be a life-term sort of sentence. It just has to be for as long as you need it to be. Unfortunately, 'out of sight, out of mind' doesn't really apply here. It's going to take a bit more than pressing 'block' to 'block' him from penetrating your daily thoughts...but it's a start that has definitely helped me.

#2 DON'T TRY CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE OVER HIM...YOU'RE NOT


Me in February: "You know, I really think I'm over him"
Me two weeks later: "...Now, I'm done. I've moved on"
Me in June: "I swear I don't even think about him anymore"
Me in October: "Niall who?"
Me four years on from that first February: "Truthfully, I'm not over him"



The first person who treated my heart like a pinata- continuously hitting it and hitting it until there was nothing left to splurge out, was Niall (a pseudonym for all purposes of anonymity). He shredded my pumping heart to the extent that I didn't have any more 'like' in me for at least four years. I should probably mention that I was 13 when this happened. But, it affected me long into my teenage years. It was the kind of love that intruded my thoughts at the most non-sensible times, and a kind of love that enlivened me, but left me hurt
.
I tried so, so incredibly hard to re-stuff myself with thoughts of someone else- anyone else. As hard as I tried to sew my heart back together, the thread kept breaking. Niall was the first person I loved. When I stopped fighting my 'first-love' feelings along with a self-imposed vicious need to stop liking him, I started thinking about him less: From every morning, to just before I went to bed at night, to once a day, then once every other day and now, hardly ever. 

If you're having to convince yourself that you're over him. You're not. However, one day you'll be able to look back on him and say "now, I truly am".

#3 PRESS PAUSE ON THE MEMORIES- NOT DELETE OR REWIND

I'm not sure about you, but I tend to over think things- seriously overthink things. Once I knocked it into my brain that getting over Niall would be the best thing, I had to make a conscious effort to stop replaying the conversations- both in person and online. Hence, I deleted months worth of chats. That part was easy. Getting my brain to press pause, was a bit harder.

Memories are important. They're snippets of our lives that we get to look back on. As time went by, I found myself returning to memories with Niall but they were vague and distorted. I'm sure memories are still stored between the convoluted grey matter housed in my skull, but pressing pause made it easier to the extent that pressing rewind means nothing to me, anymore.

#4 GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA (HIS PAGES,TOO)

I guess you could say that this one goes along with blocking him. The ideas are the same. However, don't block him online. You'll just create bad vibes and make bumping into each other, in the future, down right awkward...and no one wants awkward!

Take some time off social media. Log out of Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and whatever else you have yourself logged into. It's not pleasant when you see him tagged with other people, shirtless, on a beach. It doesn't help you get over him. Your social media break will also prevent you from doing the stalking that I know we all like to do.

You don't have to quit cold turkey; The break can be taken at particular times- so you don't miss out completely. Allow yourself 15 minutes in the morning and the afternoon to have a scroll through the online world. This way, you're more likely to miss his posts but stay connected.


#5 TAKE YOUR TIME GETTING BACK 'OUT THERE'...OR NOT


I once knew a girl whose sister passed away. The next day, I saw her at a club. After my initial shock and disbelief, I learnt something: people handle loss differently. 


If you're the type that goes to the nearest bar, has a few drinks and dances the night away with her pals then that's what you gotta do. If you don't mind a Saturday night in, with Netflix (and without the 'chill' then do that).


Some people can bounce back like a ball on the trampoline, others bounce like a brick (I know I do). Take as much time as you need to get back out there. One month is apt time, but so is four years. People love differently and therefore should heal differently. You do you, girl!


#6 LOVE YOURSELF

The easiest way to get over someone else, is to fall in love with yourself. Put your time into your education, fitness, cooking or community service. So whatever will see that you grow and flourish. Take time to learn to love yourself and to love being single. Acknowledge and praise your strengths and carefully work on your weaknesses.



#7 CUDDLE THAT FURRY FRIEND

I have a furry feline friend that goes by the very creative name of Kitty. A stroke of his black-jack filled tail, and I know that everything's going to be A-okay. Not only is this Steph proven, but science has proven it too: petting a furry friend is good for our bodies. So, never fear when a furry friend is near! Pets make for great conversationalists, mainly because they can talk back without actually talking whilst communicating the exact things that you need to hear (and you don't have to worry about your business ending up in someone else's ears); You can just yapper away, and receive a soft, understanding 'meow', or comforting 'woof' in return.

#8 ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR 1%

This isn't really a tip. It's a realization. If the previous advice doesn't help you, then I have some new for you. Brace yourselves. If you're still not over your Prince Charming, then he's what me and my friends like to call your 1%. 

Picture your pumping cardiovascular muscle. If your full capacity to love is 100%, imagine 1% of your heart always belonging to him. So, yes, you'll move on, kiss other frogs and eventually you'll find another prince, but you'll always have a soft spot for your 1%- despite time, distance and humanly circumstances. 

And just in case you're wondering, in high school, I secretly deemed Niall to be my 1% . I don't re-live our conversations and memories, I do have him as a contact in my phone and as a friend on Facebook and often see his shirtless pics without blinking as much as an eye lid, as the saying goes, but if his name ever pops up onto my screen, I still get anxious butterflies.


Let me know in the comments: What are your tips to getting over a guy? Have any of these tips worked for you? Do you have a 1% person?


Till next time-
Steph

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15 comments

  1. awwww. I love this. I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. its honestly the worst thing in the world. I got my heart really broken for the first time this summer and its been one of the most earth shattering things. he was my 1%. and its been hard because he's my best friend...and he's still my best friend. we still talk every day and make jokes and remember the great summer we spent together. let me just say, that is NOT helping me get over it at all.
    so yeah. block his number. get rid of him. that will do you so much good in the long run.

    you're amazing <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Faith! So lovely to see your name pop up again!

      I'm so sorry to hear about your heartbreak. It is indeed a very terrible thing. It's tough that your 1% is also your best friend, but I think that also means that you'll get through this more pleasantly, by at least still talking

      Your heart knows what it wants. Trust it and follow it.

      Delete
  2. Awww a heartbreak is more painful than a cold... When my boyfriend broke up with me I felt very bad during months, hopefully I had a big changes in my life (I started new studies, I moved...) and I started to get better, but my story has happy ending because we came back and we are still togheter <3
    This post can be more helpful is someone is on that situation, wish I could have it on that time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Taking your mind of a breakup by investing in yourself, like you did Cilia, is incredibly beneficial.

      AW! Congrats that it all worked out!

      Hopefully, you'll never need to read this again, but if you do, it'll always be here.

      Delete
  3. I do not have a 1%...but just to clarify, if I did, your blog post will be the first thing I turn to when I want to get over him!😄😃

    #sweetreats xx www.bakingboutiquebirds.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It warms my heart to know that this post could potentially help you one day!

      Happy week ahead, and thank you for the comment!

      Delete
  4. I've actually only been properly in love once and thankfully still am! <3 we've been going out 2 years now but if ever that were to change ( god forbid! ) I would definitely turn to this post. I remember lots of crushes when I was a silly teenager and often felt heartbroken throughout them. I hope you find your 100%

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marian! It's such a lovely feeling to be in love. I'm so glad it's going well!

      That's so sweet! Thank you! I hope you've already found yours ;)

      Delete
    2. I've read this post multiple times in the past few months. I'm nostalgic for the time I wrote my previous comment. Unfortunately things have changed a couple of times since. I can confidently say I am over my ex. I will always love him but there are no butterflies or crazy thoughts about him. Our relationship played it's time and there are no what ifs. The reason I turn to this is actually for a guy I very briefly dated just a few weeks ago. He ended it before it could even begin. The rejection hurt but what hurts even more is that I still like him. And no matter how much I convince myself he's all wrong for me and that he's not worth my thoughts, everytime I see him my heart stops and then goes crazy and I just want to run away but also slap him and scream at him. And we go to college in the same building so I see him almost everyday. I'm not even given the chance to get over him.

      So I guess he's my 1%

      Delete
    3. Wow, I'm pleased that you remembered this post M. I hope it offered you some solace and maybe a friend.
      You're very lucky that you have no 'what ifs' with your ex. That's a kind of closure that not everyone gets.

      With regards to your more recent ex, I'm sorry to hear that he broke your heart. Things change and not always in the way we think they will. Things didn't work out with your first ex, but then this guy came along.

      It's very tough when you have to see someone everyday-as you said, it doesn't help, at all. But, I think give yourself time. I'm not saying that you wo't wake up in 3 months from now and not think about him the first thing in the morning, cause you might. But, after that, you'll find that day by day you think of him less and less. Then, one day, without knowing it you'll be putting sugar in your coffee and realize that you haven't thought of him in a while.

      Thanks for adding to your story, M! I'm always here for a chit-chat!

      Delete
  5. You are so right, great post dear! xoxo

    www.love-joice.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. I do have a 1%, and sadly him and I are no longer friends because I got mad at him for something and so his friend called me a b*tch... Tho I think I will always care about him, I try to make it seem as if I hate him. I secretly miss him a lot........
    -Dani Jones

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think I'm either or with my 1%; What I mean by that is that things didn't end badly but we're no longer friends. I guess we're just 'people that we used to know'-which doesn't bother me. That's just how things go sometime- but I say that also because I now allow the other 99% of my heart to love.

      If you miss him, maybe try reaching out, or accept that for now, things just weren't meant to work out but could one day.

      Thank you for sharing, Dani!

      Delete
  7. Oh my how have I not seen this post before?!?
    The points you covered here are great ���� I’ve never thought of the 1% thing but I think that’s a great realisation!!
    Thanks again for creating a great post ❤️

    Simply Sarah Ellen x

    ReplyDelete

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