29 March 2017

More Than Just An Old Faded Photograph

36 years ago, her red Opel cadet broke down and he came to the rescue. 4 years after that, in December, they got married and 13 years later, they had their fourth and final little one- me. Some people call them 'Peter' and 'Sophia' others call them 'sir' and 'ma'am'. Me? Well, I get to call them 'dad and mom'.

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24 March 2017

8 Full-Proof Ways to Get Over Any Guy



 Let me tell you my track record when it comes to love. My heart has been broken once and I've done the heartbreaking, once. Hence, by analysis of my age and experience, I am no where near qualified to give advice on romance- not one bit qualified. But I'm going to do it anyways.

That one time that my heart was minced into a million pieces, was enough heart break to last me a life time. On account for that single heartbreak, I'm writing this. If I consider that, then maybe I am qualified; I'll leave you to be the judge on that.


#1 BLOCK HIS NUMBER




 Sometimes, it's worse knowing that he can call and text you...but has chosen not to. The blocking doesn't have to be a life-term sort of sentence. It just has to be for as long as you need it to be. Unfortunately, 'out of sight, out of mind' doesn't really apply here. It's going to take a bit more than pressing 'block' to 'block' him from penetrating your daily thoughts...but it's a start that has definitely helped me.

#2 DON'T TRY CONVINCE YOURSELF THAT YOU'RE OVER HIM...YOU'RE NOT


Me in February: "You know, I really think I'm over him"
Me two weeks later: "...Now, I'm done. I've moved on"
Me in June: "I swear I don't even think about him anymore"
Me in October: "Niall who?"
Me four years on from that first February: "Truthfully, I'm not over him"



The first person who treated my heart like a pinata- continuously hitting it and hitting it until there was nothing left to splurge out, was Niall (a pseudonym for all purposes of anonymity). He shredded my pumping heart to the extent that I didn't have any more 'like' in me for at least four years. I should probably mention that I was 13 when this happened. But, it affected me long into my teenage years. It was the kind of love that intruded my thoughts at the most non-sensible times, and a kind of love that enlivened me, but left me hurt
.
I tried so, so incredibly hard to re-stuff myself with thoughts of someone else- anyone else. As hard as I tried to sew my heart back together, the thread kept breaking. Niall was the first person I loved. When I stopped fighting my 'first-love' feelings along with a self-imposed vicious need to stop liking him, I started thinking about him less: From every morning, to just before I went to bed at night, to once a day, then once every other day and now, hardly ever. 

If you're having to convince yourself that you're over him. You're not. However, one day you'll be able to look back on him and say "now, I truly am".

#3 PRESS PAUSE ON THE MEMORIES- NOT DELETE OR REWIND

I'm not sure about you, but I tend to over think things- seriously overthink things. Once I knocked it into my brain that getting over Niall would be the best thing, I had to make a conscious effort to stop replaying the conversations- both in person and online. Hence, I deleted months worth of chats. That part was easy. Getting my brain to press pause, was a bit harder.

Memories are important. They're snippets of our lives that we get to look back on. As time went by, I found myself returning to memories with Niall but they were vague and distorted. I'm sure memories are still stored between the convoluted grey matter housed in my skull, but pressing pause made it easier to the extent that pressing rewind means nothing to me, anymore.

#4 GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA (HIS PAGES,TOO)

I guess you could say that this one goes along with blocking him. The ideas are the same. However, don't block him online. You'll just create bad vibes and make bumping into each other, in the future, down right awkward...and no one wants awkward!

Take some time off social media. Log out of Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and whatever else you have yourself logged into. It's not pleasant when you see him tagged with other people, shirtless, on a beach. It doesn't help you get over him. Your social media break will also prevent you from doing the stalking that I know we all like to do.

You don't have to quit cold turkey; The break can be taken at particular times- so you don't miss out completely. Allow yourself 15 minutes in the morning and the afternoon to have a scroll through the online world. This way, you're more likely to miss his posts but stay connected.


#5 TAKE YOUR TIME GETTING BACK 'OUT THERE'...OR NOT


I once knew a girl whose sister passed away. The next day, I saw her at a club. After my initial shock and disbelief, I learnt something: people handle loss differently. 


If you're the type that goes to the nearest bar, has a few drinks and dances the night away with her pals then that's what you gotta do. If you don't mind a Saturday night in, with Netflix (and without the 'chill' then do that).


Some people can bounce back like a ball on the trampoline, others bounce like a brick (I know I do). Take as much time as you need to get back out there. One month is apt time, but so is four years. People love differently and therefore should heal differently. You do you, girl!


#6 LOVE YOURSELF

The easiest way to get over someone else, is to fall in love with yourself. Put your time into your education, fitness, cooking or community service. So whatever will see that you grow and flourish. Take time to learn to love yourself and to love being single. Acknowledge and praise your strengths and carefully work on your weaknesses.



#7 CUDDLE THAT FURRY FRIEND

I have a furry feline friend that goes by the very creative name of Kitty. A stroke of his black-jack filled tail, and I know that everything's going to be A-okay. Not only is this Steph proven, but science has proven it too: petting a furry friend is good for our bodies. So, never fear when a furry friend is near! Pets make for great conversationalists, mainly because they can talk back without actually talking whilst communicating the exact things that you need to hear (and you don't have to worry about your business ending up in someone else's ears); You can just yapper away, and receive a soft, understanding 'meow', or comforting 'woof' in return.

#8 ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR 1%

This isn't really a tip. It's a realization. If the previous advice doesn't help you, then I have some new for you. Brace yourselves. If you're still not over your Prince Charming, then he's what me and my friends like to call your 1%. 

Picture your pumping cardiovascular muscle. If your full capacity to love is 100%, imagine 1% of your heart always belonging to him. So, yes, you'll move on, kiss other frogs and eventually you'll find another prince, but you'll always have a soft spot for your 1%- despite time, distance and humanly circumstances. 

And just in case you're wondering, in high school, I secretly deemed Niall to be my 1% . I don't re-live our conversations and memories, I do have him as a contact in my phone and as a friend on Facebook and often see his shirtless pics without blinking as much as an eye lid, as the saying goes, but if his name ever pops up onto my screen, I still get anxious butterflies.


Let me know in the comments: What are your tips to getting over a guy? Have any of these tips worked for you? Do you have a 1% person?


Till next time-
Steph

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20 March 2017

Get to Know Me: A-Z of Steph



A-
Accents. Although I've lived in South Africa for all 18 years of my life, when people first meet me, they think I'm from another country because I don't have a South African accent, or a heavy one at least (and I'm not sure why).

B-
Broken Bones. It seems that I tread lightly and on the safer side of life. I've never had so much as a sprain to an ankle, never mind a broken bone in my body

C-
Cats. I have a furry, feline friend that I absolutely love to smother in cuddles and my comfy duvet. He started off as a stray in the garden, waltzed into our house and somewhere between that, walked straight into our hearts.

D-
Daybreak. My favourite part of the day is when the morning teeters between light and darkness, and the first chirps of the birds outside my window sound, before the bustling trucks begin their long hauls for the day and humans haven't woken up for their daily hustle and monotonous routines.

E-
Easter. In a Greek Orthodox family, Easter is a day that does not go unnoticed. Leading up to Easter consists of family, food and fasting which is always a fiesta of fun! It is 'hands down' my favourite holiday.

F-
Frank. I've ventured out to the edge of the shore with a fishing rod, only once in my life. And, only once because once was enough. I did catch a fish, which I appropriately named Frank.

G-
Grandmother. My grandmother is currently half way through her 80s and can still stand on her head, do push ups and I'm sure even the splits! I hope those genes get passed on!


H-
Hair. My naturally curly locks adorn a fusion of dark chocolate and coco. I've always wanted to dye my hair, but I'm too afraid.

I-
Incubator. I was a premature baby which means I needed a bit of extra tender, love and care when the world and I first met.

J-
Jumping. The Masaai tribe, in Kenya, are able known to jump up to a significant distance, during a traditional dance. A dream of mine is to go to Kenya, and witness this.

K-
Kit Kat. Often, you'll hear me saying that one day, if a man ever wants to get down on one knee and marry me, I won't need a ring. I'll just need a lifetime supply of Kit Kat chocolate. Hence, it's fair to say that it's my favourite chocolate delight.

L-
Liquorice. I'm anti all things aniseed. In case you don't know, that's what gives liquorice it's distinctive (and personally detestful) taste

M-
Mail. I have a secret wish; I hope that one day I receive a letter in the mail, that's not a receipt or an advertisement, but a heartfelt, handwritten letter from a friend or a stranger whose heart I have touched.

N-
Nail Biter. As of around a year and a half a go, I can very happily add 'former' to this title.

O-
Obstacle. The biggest mountain that I've had to climb over (in a metaphorical sense, obviously), is a lack of belief in myself.

P-
Princess Diana. If I could meet anyone, dead or alive, it would be Diana Spencer. I think she'd make a stunning dinner guest, with stories galore. I imagine she'd radiate compassion and grace with a perfect sprinkling of sass.

Q-
Quirk. When I get nervous, I'll begin talking in Greek (although I generally communicate my thoughts in English).

R-
Red Velvet. Cue the cliche favorite cake flavour. Say what you like but when the moist, spongy garnet coloured cake and  meets with the sugary snowflake-like white cream, something magical happens.

S-
Sewing. Every Saturday, for three hours, for the first four years of high school, I attended sewing lessons which included cutting Burda, Simplicity or Vogue patterns and stitch by tiny little stitch, creating a garment.

T-
Tooth- I really don't want this one to gross you out! Your average adult human has 32 teeth. Turns out, I'm not your average adult human. An X-ray almost 7 years ago revealed a super numeral tooth (that's jargon for a spare tooth). I didn't even know that it was there. It was hiding in my palate. It's out now, and I'm average again...or my mouth is, anyways.

U-
Underwear. This ones about to get personal; We're skipping the clothes and going straight to the under garments. I wear bikini-styled underwear, usually covering my lady parts in a non-translucent cotton but now and a gain a fancy lace.

V-
Valley of the Kings. Since discovering a disc about the discover of Tutankhamen, the child King and pharaoh of Egypt ,when I was younger, I have wanted to take a tour of the Valley of the Kings, where his burial site was excavated by Howard Carter.

W-
Warts. This ones about to get personal (and possibly disgusting if you're freaked out by fungi). At one stage of my life, possibly a decade or so ago, I had up to 13 tiny fungal hills across my 10 fingers...or warts. Don't worry though, they're all gone now and have yet to make an appearance since.

X-
Xin-Xan. There was once a guy in my high school who had this name.I never knew how to pronounce it. The day he left, I learnt. It's 'Zin-Zan'.

Y-
Yosemites. I had no idea how to pronounce this word (seems like a trend), up until my dad mocked me for pronouncing it as YO-SE-MITES. Turns out, it's way more elegant than that.

Z-
Zodiac. My star sign is a Libra, if you're into astrology and that sort of thing. I, personally, am not.


Till next time-
Steph

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You can find me here:

Instagram: @socialspying
Email: socialspying@gmail.com
        
Thanks so much for stopping by. If you're feeling up to it, follow this blog on Google Friend Connect, Bloglovin', on Instagram or Twitter. Drop me an email or a message in the Blogger Contact Form and I'll get straight back to you!

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16 March 2017

Being Alone

Past Day Steph

I don't do much alone. On the odd occasion that I eat breakfast, it's with my mom. Lunch is probably with my dad and dinner is a feast with the whole family. I'm still a 'learner' driver, which requires a licensed passenger beside me in the car, so even when I'm driving I'm not alone. I wasn't even in the womb alone. Somehow, I still came out a some-what independent person, however, in saying that, companionship (in fur or flesh) is definitely preferable.
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7 March 2017

Lost in London || Week 2

My second week in London took me to all sorts of weird and wonderful places- which included meeting some wacky people. I probably enjoyed this week the most of them all. An early adventure in the week took me to Camden, where I fell down the rabbit hole and landed in Wonderland. Of course, a tea party was in order.

 
 
In true tourist fashion, I hopped onto one of those double-decker red 'hop on-hop off' buses you always see buzzing around on tourist videos and parked behind  famous monuments in pamphlets. I was so incredibly impressed by the architecture, historicism and attention to craftsmanship that I don't see that anymore.








This street art was aptly produced outside of the National Art Gallery, by Trafalgar Square. These artists had painted several country's flags. Being the cosmopolitan city that London is, travelers from each country were urged to put money on the country that they come from- how's that for patriotism, creativity and entrepreneurship in one artwork. Just in case you're wondering, I did put money on the South African flag.

 
 
I love the impermanence of these works. Rain or the rubber on people's shoes will eventually remove all remnants of the work, and the work will be almost non-existent, except for photographic evidence.

 
 

One of my favourite places in London is definitely the Tate Modern. You could leave me in there from opening to closing and I would still ask to stay some more. I think this particular exhibit was so special to me as I had come across many of the works in the museum, over the past three years in booklets or online, whilst studying art at school. It was mesmerizing to see these works or similar works within touching distance.

You know those clich├ęd forbidden 'red buttons' that we're taught from young to never touch? Whilst approaching a Picasso or Warhol from across the room, I was filled with so much temptation to just touch it or to intentionally brush past it. I have so much respect for art and museums, so I obviously did not touch any of the works...but that doesn't mean the temptation wasn't there.


 


 

Fountain signed R. Mutt. 1917. Marcel Duchamp. Found Object.
'25 Marilyns'. 1962. Andy Warhol.
'Weeping Woman'. 1937. Pablo Picasso. Oil paint on canvas.

The tower of glistening lights consist of several hundred radios all tuned into different frequencies and blasting outwardly towards the audience, simultaneously. The concept behind this work is to demonstrate how people are constantly hit with media from all angle- almost attacked- with no way to turn off or away from the constant bombardment of information.






I probably won't end up doing a third installment of this series- it'll just have to be a two-part wonder (the wonder bit is up for debate). London was so incredibly good to me- the food was delicious, the people were lively and helpful and the atmosphere was immersive. Till next time, London!

Till next time-
Steph

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You can find me here:

Instagram: @socialspying
Email: socialspying@gmail.com
        
If you'd like more information on any of the places or artworks please do leave a comment or an email and I'll give you all the details that you're looking for. 

Thanks so much for stopping by. If you're feeling up to it, follow this blog on Google Friend Connect, Bloglovin' or on Instagram. Drop me an email or a message in the Blogger Contact Form and I'll get straight back to you!







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